many things have happened in the short span of a week
it has left me dilapidated both internally and externally.

with each moment, i find myself being questioned; a whole array of questions that i am unable to answer

those questions were asked by me, myself.

did the recent occurrence warrant a breakdown; to not think rationally in spite of many trainings to do so?

was i right to do whatever i wished to do instead of listening and adhering to instructions?

did i consider the impact my actions had on others before proceeding on with what i had?

those are just a few of the many things i keep pondering about.

i spoke to myself before the camp; thinking that it would just be an ordinary camp which heralded nothing new for me.

but i was wrong.

true, the camp's basic activities were nothing new, but it was the small tiny things that happened that shaped me up and woke me to reality.

i saw the many facets of life in the camp, both of mine and of others.
dirty laundry were hung publicly and vehemence ran high

however, the tension was ever present.

for those that do not know,
I have a personal grudge against someone.

to that person:

Hi,
i've know you for about a year and a half now. didnt work with you much the previous year but i sense that its going to change this year. in all honesty, i find your words coated with "attitude" and that they are lacking in the "EQ" department. I, for one, am rather dissatisfied with the way they are phrased and exit your mouth. It is also unbearable when I seek your help and instead of getting any assistance, all i get is either a COLD stare or just a string of unhelpful words. I do not know that whether this behavior is a result of MINE but if it is, i apologise deeply.

But all i know for now, is that the behavior that you are exuding is not very positive. suffice to say for the tension between us. Because of this tension, it has affected many of our colleagues in their working environment and has even caused emotional trauma to some.

My goal and objective is simple. To carry out and organise the events and projects seamlessly while working in harmony to achive it.

"students work in harmony, one big family..."

i know i am trying to suppress this deluge of unhappiness, but will you join me?
I, Myself, am not bereft of any faults.

"To err is human, to forgive is divine"

i really hope that this issue can blow over soon, and like i once said before,

"A blessing in disguise"

on a second note;
i really like to thank the main comm for all that they have put through and done and especially the 3 organisers of the camp;
i.e. nadiah, eugene and peck gee

there may be many unknown things around, some positive and most negative.
the onslaught of obstacles and differences may be difficult, but not unsurmountable.
we were not chosen by random, we had a choice.
a choice to make a difference, to BE the difference,
a choice to change the people around, both others and ourselves,
we hold the power, of which we must utilise meticulously,
the power of togetherness, all 14 of us
as ONE main comm

though problems threaten to tear us asunder,
i belive that we can endure the storm and emerge stronger and closer

to my beloved Main Comm (darlings)
i LOVE you all

And I realized...
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