wow its been about 2 weeks since i last posted. cant blame me though ><
so bz haha, anyway not much has happened but i really miss my squadmates tooones T_T esp admin board, i haven seen moses and boonwei and geraldine for ages..

on another note, i jsut screwed 3 tests up and thats gonna be horrid. todays report writing was kinda crap too...
but enough of study crap

to other things, i got my first " godlike streak " in a draft match, wow from all ksing hahhaa, zeus is pwer!!

so thats academic, and gaming..
wads left?

my relationships..
it pains me a little everytime i see people getting lovey dovey with one another here ad there, makes me jealous yeh know x(
sometimes i question myself,
would it better to remain as friends or to try and sniff out that tiny chance still lurking in the corner.. i dont know
i really dont!
and somehow or rather i cant bring myself to make that choice, i just keep floundering alone here..
i appear free of worries on the outside, but inside, its a churning glob of paranoia and worry.
i'm afraid, i tried to change but its hard.. seems i'll be embroiled in this for a loong long time....
no chance of deliverance, tht remains the sad truth..

hopefully i'll find someone who can understand me, communicate with me, share my worries an allow me to share yours..

seems like my ideals are too rare to find, wads more i have crazy standards when i;m not that good anyway =(

its a unfair world

And I realized...
+ + +